Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Letter - Episode 1

As a non-sequitur introduction to today's post I present the opening spread of a CYOA section in a foodie magazine -- safe from my predation while still on newsstand shelves, then open game for Issue 4 of Lucky Peach! For years the form lived on solely in the nostalgia of an entire generation, and now thanks to my cohort being bored at their day jobs it is suddenly pushing up and out everywhere one might imagine it (and several places where you probably wouldn't imagine it. Admittedly the McSweeney's folks are no strangers to experimental writing.) This makes for only the second CYOA recipe book in my experience, but this one likely reached a wider audience.
Today's gamebook is the script to an audio "pick your podventure" by novelist and indie game designer Jim Munroe, who I had the pleasure of interviewing for SPAG yesterday. Not only does he know about this conversion, he kindly dug up the original script (following my archivist's instincts) to make things considerably easier for me! Like A Dark And Deadly Path, these interactive audio games were already accessible to the blind, but their content was locked away from the blind! Now members of both groups can enjoy the adventures, such as they are. (Of course, by considering scripts of interactive multimedia works as gamebook prototypes, that opens the door for my transcribing and converting everything from Dragon's Lair on down to Terror T.R.A.X.) Though this story never yet progressed beyond this episode 1 from back in 2006, with adequate demand from fans who knows what could be possible.
. . .
Kevin: First off, this is the coolest gift I got by far, just so you know. I thought from the size of the box it might have been a guitar tuner, but this is much better. I've been wanting an MP3 player forever! And it even records! So I'm going to make up for my horrible lack of letters by sending you a good long audio letter.
Things are going pretty good. The Autism paper is driving me crazy, Kinderson's making me do revision after revision. He's being really weird about it, it was so much easier with the last paper I published. When he first saw it he was really excited, but now he's superconcerned with getting all the sources checked and keeps asking me if the findings correlate. That's why I haven't written anything more than short emails, after doing that all day I can't face the computer at all. I've taken to holing up with my guitar when I get home and trying not to think about the paper.
And talking about that, I wrote a song for you, my love. I'll hang this around my neck on the handy strap... this thing has all the attachments:
    ♫ Jen! All the way over the sea
    Capetown is where you be
    Why aren't we in the same country?
    Sending my love with an mp3!
    Jen, Jen, Jen... Jen Jen Jen! ♫
Anyway, that's a work in progress. It's really nice not having any roommates, I can play any time of the day or night. I play out on the porch, now that the weather's nice too. I think I'll grab a coffee and go out there now, actually. [sound of coffee being poured] It's a fair bit bigger than our old balcony, I've actually had three or four people out there at once. [door shuts. ambient outside porch sounds: distant car, sigh] It's a nice little street, a fair bit off the main road, lots of trees. It's really close to the university so a lot of students live around here and pass by. The owners left these old couches behind, they're a bit musty [couch slap] but not too bad. [takes sip] [Calls out] Ah ha! Is it noon already?
[normal voice, to mp3 player] Looks like you're going to get to meet Luke.
Luke: I'm a bit early. [sound of bag hitting ground]
Kevin: Just made some coffee, help yourself.
Luke: Sounds great. [screen door shuts]
Kevin: Luke is the guy who was wearing the tinfoil hat in the lab party picture I sent you. He also plays music, more hiphop though. He started as a tech at our lab a month or two after I got there, so he took the heat off me as the new guy.
[Door shuts]
Luke: You talking to yourself again, Fell?
Kevin: Actually, I'm making an audio letter to Jen. She sent me an mp3 player for my birthday.
Luke: Coooool. Hi Jen.
Kevin: I was just briefing her about you.
Luke: uh huh [sip] It's all lies.
Kevin: Tell her how much I talk about her. Adoringly.
Luke: Oh yeah, constantly. He's always talking about you, Jan.
Kevin: Jen.
Luke: Right right. Sorry, s'hard to keep track. Jen's the one in LA, right. Jan's the one in Capetown? Which was the one who had the jacuzzi?
Kevin: [laughing] I don't know how to edit this so don't say anything really bad.
Luke: I'm just trying to get her to move out here. It's the only way you're going to keep this wildman in check, Jan! Jen!
Kevin: [Laughs] Wildman.
Luke: So, what's first for your birthday, wildman? Wanna hit the... strip clubs?
Kevin: See, you're censoring yourself. You usually say tittie bars. He's on his best behaviour, Jen.
[brief silence as Kevin stops laughing. the sound of two doors slamming shut.]
Luke: [subdued] Whoa. Check out the men in black.
Kevin: They look like the guys from V, don't they? Caps and wrap-around sunglasses. Very '80s.
Luke: Unmarked van... you, uh, expecting --?
Kevin: No.
Luke: 'Cause they're, uh, headed straight over here.
Kevin: Yeah, I think they are.
. . .
Kevin: Maybe they're delivery men.
Luke: Well, they're not carrying flowers.
Kevin: ... or packages.
Luke: But they're definitely coming up here.
Kevin: [Calls out] Hello there!
MiB1: Are you Kevin Fell?
Luke: Who's asking?
Kevin: Yes I am.
MiB1: We'd like you to come with us.
Kevin: What for?
MiB1: We'd like you to come with us.
Kevin: I get that, but I need to know what for.
MiB1: Entering phase 2.
[Kevin and Luke laugh]
Kevin: OK, now I know you're joking.
Luke: That doesn't even look like a real gun. That's pretty sad.
Kevin: Who put you up to this?
MiB1: Phase 3 specifies I fire tranquilizer darts at you.
[click of a gun being cocked].
. . .
Kevin: I'm out of coffee anyway. I'll get a refill...
Luke: They look like trouble, somehow.
[door shuts, walking sound. sound of coffee being poured]
Luke: Yep, they're they're on the porch. [cup being set down] Shit, they just walked right in! They're in the living room --
[fainter door shutting from other room]
Luke: Quick, man! They --
. . .
[Sound of two tranq darts, and two bodies collapsing to the ground]
[musical interlude]
Kevin: [groggy sounds of waking up] Whaa... where am I? I'm in my bedroom...? What was I? Have to get some water.
[Door opens to party noises]
Luke: The man's finally up!
Kevin: What are you all doing in my living room?
[everyone laughs]
Stef: Surprise! Happy birthday Kevin!
Dr. Kinderson:: Kevin! I'm sorry, my boy, it's been a few years since I'd prepared tranquilizers. I think it was the right dose, but I guess with the adrenaline it packed a punch --
Luke: You've been out for hours, man, the keg's nearly empty!
Kevin: A keg. There's a keg in my kitchen.
Mike: Here ya go, man, I'll pour it myself. [sound of pouring] We ran out of plastic cups so we've been using mugs, hope that's OK. Cheers! [clinking mugs]
Kevin: What -- what happened to the men in black?
Dr. Kinderson:: They're friends of mine, well, one of them's my nephew and the other's a friend of his. We thought it would be fun, got a little out of hand I admit --
Kevin: Did you know?
Luke: I had no idea.
Dr. Kinderson:: Well you'll never forget your first birthday in Canada, I'll bet! Plus, we've just got the magazines back with your publication, here.
Kevin: Oh, yeah, great. Great! That was... fast.
Luke: Oooh. "Using roundworms to study the molecular basis of epilepsy." Sounds like a page turner.
Dr. Kinderson:: I was surprised myself. Very quick. But we spent a lot of time with it, and so it was pretty clean going in.
Kevin: I had a ... dream... that I was working on a paper about autism.
Dr. Kinderson:: [chuckles] I once dreamt that I was a surgeon on a cruise ship. Stress dreams.
Luke: Last night I dreamt I was a building and people were throwing rocks at my windows and spraypainting graffitti on me.
Stef: Yeah? What was it like?
Luke: The rocks weren't so cool but the spraypainting kind of tickled.
Kevin: Well, thanks for coming, everyone. I'm sorry I've been such a bad host until now. Cheers!
[everyone cheers, and the sound of the party gently fades out.]
. . .
Kevin: Let's head out the back.
[fast walking and another door opening and closing, sound of a back yard—birds, wind]
MiB: [slightly distant, but calmly] Phase 3.
[The rattle and slam of a wooden gate closing is followed by two wet thunks of darts into wood]
Kevin: What the hell?!
Luke: They shot something at us. Let's hoof it, man.
[Gravelly running for a while.]
Kevin: [breathless] This alley leads to the street.
[less gravelly running for a while]
Luke: OK, wait, wait, what -- where are we going?
Kevin: We could head for the lab. Regroup, figure out what the hell's going on.
Luke: They might know where you work. Maybe the bar's safer.
Kevin: Bars are never safe when you're involved.
. . .
Kevin: Now that I think of it... the tranq guns that hospital orderlies have look a lot like that.
Luke: Really.
Kevin: Yeah, I did a paper on it for first year. And the affects of tranq darts aren't terribly nice. It's not like the movies. Get the solution ratio wrong...
Luke: But if they only have the one dart...
MiB1: Phase 2b.
MiB2: [sound of clothes being rustled, a second cocking] This short-range projector is the answer to the requests for an inexpensive emergency-type projector. Not recommended for darts over 3cc --
MiB1: [cutting him off] End.
Kevin: This is a pretty elaborate joke. Well, we should see what the punchline is.
Luke: Uh, I'll hang out here.
MiB1: Phase 2b requires your involvement. You will come with us now.
[sound of them getting up, creak of porch stairs, cars getting louder as they cross the road.]
Luke: [hushed] We sure getting into an unmarked van is a good idea?
Kevin: [hushed] It's gotta be a prank.
[The sound of a van door opening (sliding?)]
Kevin: There's a keg of beer in here! Nice!
Luke: You guys couldn't afford to rent the model with seats in the back, huh?
MiB2: Tough, roomy, rugged and reliable, Ford's Econoline van has a favorable, well-earned reputation. Since the van's introduction in 1960 ... [cut off by closing door]
Luke: Those guys are a little off.
Kevin: There's something familiar about them, though.
[the MiB get in and shut their two doors. The van starts. From the front seat, MiB2 continues the description of the van (see notes) but it's very muffled.]
Luke: Really? I was trying to think if I'd met them before.
Kevin: No, I mean the way they're acting.
Luke: Like robots? Did you get a load of the ear pieces, by the way?
Kevin: No... yeah, I see them now. Both ears, too.
Luke: (hollow sound of a keg being flicked) This keg feels full. You got a cup?
Kevin: [laughs] No, sorry. There's an invoice stuck to it though... from Einstein's.
Luke: Huh. Anything else back there?
Kevin: No... well, this roll of duct tape. Here ya go.
Luke: Sure, standard abduction procedure. [calls to front] Hey guys, do you want us to bind our hands with this ourselves? Save ya the trouble.
[No response except MiB2 switches to duct tape spiel in notes]
Kevin: OK, I'm officially freaked out.
Luke: Well, we're coming to a red light...
[car revving]
Kevin: Well, I guess we'll see where we're going.
Luke: Door's probably locked anyways [rattles it]
Kevin: Oh, he didn't like that. Shit, he's getting out his gun!
[sliding cab window]
Luke: I was just --
. . .
[door opens, sound of Stop Die Resuscitate song is playing]
Luke: Damn! You guys got some good taste in music! I heard it from outside and it just drew me in. Who is that?
Mike: Some shit some retarded kid gave us.
Kevin: Hey Mike. You guys gotta get some better music. There's no customers.
Mike: It's 11 in the fucking morning. We're not open.
Luke: Come on... it's Kevin's birthday, line us up a few.
Kevin: We've had a bit of a trying morning.
Mike: Pfft. You didn't have to open your bar at 10 so that two retards could knock the door off its hinges.
Kevin: Oh yeah, what happened?
Mike: These jokers pulled a keg out the door so fast they knocked the sign off the door. Didn't even slow down to say sorry. Just got in their van and split. [door opens, sound of something falling] Damnit! ...Look guys, I gotta get something to stick this up again. I'm gonna lock up for a second and go down to the hardware store..
. . .
Kevin: Let's do it.
[the sound of the door opening, people running]
Luke: Between these houses.
Kevin: Shit! You first.
[sound of them hitting the fence, climbing]
Luke: Are they still...?
Kevin: Yes!
[sound of Luke hitting the ground on the other side]
Luke: Hurry, man!
Kevin: This blue box... [sound of kevin climbing, landing]
Kevin: Let's go!
[more running]
Luke: Looks like we lost 'em. Jesus!
Kevin: I didn't expect them to chase us.
Luke: I didn't think they'd run! I figured they'd just walk after us Terminator-style.
Kevin: That fence stopped them. Shit, the last time I had to climb a fence my feet actually fit inside the chain links --
Luke: I could see you trying that, going like ... [they laugh]
Kevin: Well, hey, we're pretty close to Einstein's. Let's go ask them about the keg.
Luke: Sure, I could use a drink.
. . .
Luke: Relax man, here's some tape.
Mike: Oh, cool, that'll do it. [sound of duct tape being unstuck]
Kevin: So these jokers...
Mike: Yeah. I was expecting Dr. Kinderson to pick it up himself.
Luke: Kinderson placed the order?
Mike: Yeah, when they showed up I was kind of surprised. They were weird, too, both in caps and earbuds, I made a joke about that and they just kind of stared at me. And when I go back to the office to get the dolly they just picked it up and hauled it out by hand. When I came back they were wrestling it through the door.
Kevin: And knocked the sign off in the process.
Mike: Yeah. [smacking sounds] OK, that should stick. I probably shouldn't have joked about the earbuds though... maybe they've gotta wear them for some medical condition or something. They're not patients of Dr. Kinderson or anything?
Kevin: [thoughtfully] Kinderson doesn't have any patients, we don't treat people...
Mike: Well anyway, tell your supervisor that if they dinged up the keg they're not getting their deposit back. So what can I get for you guys?
Luke: How about -- [as the same time as] Kevin: We should go.
Luke: Uhhh. OK.
Kevin: Thanks Mike! I'll let Kinderson know if I see him.
Luke: Keep the tape.
Mike: All right guys, stay out of trouble.
[door swings shug, sound of outside]
Kevin: So I just realized why those two guys were familiar.
Luke: Oh yeah? You've seen them before with Kinderson?
Kevin: No, I haven't ever met those guys. But their speech patterns were familiar. I'm just not used to seeing subjects outside of the lab.
Luke: Subjects? Like for your project?
Kevin: No, not for mine. I dealt mostly with high-functioning Aspergers autistics. But Kinderson --
Luke: Shit! But why --
Kevin: I have no idea. Let's head over to the lab and see what the hell is going on.
[musical interlude]
. . .
Kevin: Let's go in the side door. I have a feeling the elevator --.
Luke: Yeah, let's hit the stairwell [echoey steps] So, what's the plan?
Kevin: Well, let's scope out who's in the lab first.
Luke: It's a Saturday.
Kevin: Alex has been coming in most weekends this month.
[Sound of a push door handle and a slight squeaking]
Kevin: [hushed] OK, can you hear anyone?
Luke: No... wait. Yeah, the interview room.
Kevin: Perfect.
Luke: Why?
Kevin: Follow me. [quick steps on padded carpet, a door opening and closing quickly.]
[slightly louder] Now stay away from the observation window.
Luke: Right. I'll stay in the corner. What are you doing?
Kevin: If I can crawl beneath the window I can --
[there's a click and then Voices come from the other room, slightly modulated]: ... before we do.
Luke: Nice. The intercom.
Kinderson's voice: It's regrettable but necessary.
Kevin: Kinderson.
Other voice: They should have been back by now.
[intercom: sound of a door opening.] Dr. Kinderson: Do you have -- Alex?
Alex: Oh, Dr. Kinderson, I'm sorry to interrupt -- what what what what
Dr. Kinderson: That's right, Alex. Come lie down here.
Alex: what what what what what
Other voice: Insert the buds.
Dr. Kinderson: They're in.
Alex: what what what wha --
Other voice: Remove them.
Dr. Kinderson: There's no blood this time.
Alex: Oh, Dr. Kinderson! I must have nodded off.
Dr. Kinderson: That'll teach ya to burn the candle at both ends. Up ya get.
Alex: Thanks. I better call it a day.
Dr. Kinderson: That's a good idea. See you at the party tonight.
[door opening and closing]
Luke: What the fuck?
Kevin: Shhh, shh.
Dr. Kinderson: He didn't see you at all after that.
Other voice: His brain didn't want to see me at all in the first place. I just gave it a little extra help.
Dr. Kinderson: Will it be as simple with Kevin?
Other voice: Unfortunately it will be considerably more invasive. We have an entire experiential thread to remove. But the domino savant says it's a threat to the project.
Luke: Uh, Kev --
Kevin: Let's get the fuck out of here.
[sound of the door being opened and closed]
Dr. Kinderson: Where have you two been? Where is the target?
MiB1: We ran phases 1-3, unsuccessfully.
Luke: It's them, the guys with the tranq guns.
Kevin: Let's hit the stairs, quick.
. . .
Luke: Aw, no. Look likes Stef's on duty.
Kevin: Well, we have to sign in.
Stef: I didn't know you had a show coming up, CoolHand.
Luke: [confused]... Not for a couple of weeks.
Stef: You must be getting your posters done early then. Here's a pen.
Kevin: Thanks.
Luke: Aw, geez... !
Stef: And you brought someone to help you carry out the boxes this time. Better than that gigantic backpack.
Luke: It wasn't that big. She busted me for making a couple of photocopies on the weekend.
Kevin: [distracted]... oh yeah, hey, so Kinderson's here, eh?
Stef: Yeah, so it might not be a great day for office theft, there, CoolHand.
. . .
Kevin: He hardly ever comes in on weekends.
Stef: This month he's been in a lot. Signed in a couple of dudes, this morning, but they left a while ago.
Luke: They leave in a van?
Stef: Why? You looking for something to drive your loot away with there, buddy? Maybe get yourself a flatbed, that's what I'd say..
Kevin: Probably just a visiting professor.
Stef: Pfft. Not likely. These guys were... I don't know what they were. Black hats, sunglasses. If they hadn't come in with Kinderson I would have called the cops.
Kevin: Uh huh. OK, well, take it easy. I'll keep an eye on this guy for you.
Luke: Smell you later.
Stef: Uh huh.
[silence for a bit]
Kevin: [hushed] Whattya say we take the stairwell, huh?
Luke: Yeah. Can't be that many fashion victims on the prowl today.
. . .
Kevin: Well, anyway, take it easy, Stef. I'll keep an eye on this guy for ya.
Luke: I wanted to get caught.
Stef: Oh yeah, I believe that.
[silence for a bit, then a ding, elevator doors close]
Luke: She is so into me it hurts.
Kevin: Well, she didn't turn you in... how'd you manage that?
Luke: I'll spare you the gory details.
[Elevator stops, doors open]
Kevin: Oh, hello, Doctor --
Luke: What the hell!
. . .
There are the base-model E-150, the E-250, the E-250 Extended, the tougher E-350 Super Duty and the E-350 Super Duty Extended. Ford equips each of these vehicles in either recreational-use (Econoline Wagon) or commercial-use (Econoline Van) trim. Recreational trim is for large families or people who want customized conversion vans or RVs, while the Econoline Van commercial models are used by tradespeople to cart equipment from job to job.
If you want to purchase a new full-size van for business use, you're going to end up with the Econoline, the Chevrolet Express, the GMC Savana or the Mercedes-engineered Dodge Sprinter. Each is similar in price and size. The GM vans offer more powerful gas-powered V8 engine options and better ride dynamics, while the Sprinter, originally designed for European markets, emphasizes tall cabins, carlike handling and a fuel-efficient turbodiesel five-cylinder engine. The Ford Econoline Cargo is clearly the way to go if you're looking for a strong turbodiesel V8 or a gas V10, since neither competitor has these options. Beyond that, your buying decision should come down to pricing and getting a van configured the way you want it.
2006 Ford Econoline Cargo Specifications
Body Styles, Trim Levels and Options:
Ford's commercial-use Econoline cargo van is available to the general public in half-ton, three-quarter-ton and one-ton sizes. For those whose hauling needs aren't too intensive, there is the base E-150 model. If you have a bit more on your plate, select the E-250, which comes in two lengths -- regular (211.9 inches) and EXT (231.9). Finally, for contractors with the heaviest payloads (up to 4,000 pounds), there is the E-350 van, also available in regular and extended lengths. In base form, the vans are sparsely equipped -- two vinyl bucket seats, air conditioning, tilt steering wheel adjustment, power mirrors, a two-speaker stereo and 16-inch tires with steel rims. Among the available options are functional items like a second-row bench (so that you can carry the whole crew), a towing package and shorter axle ratios for enhanced towing ability (most with a limited-slip differential), as well as "luxuries" like cloth upholstery, captain's chairs, cruise control, a six-speaker stereo with a CD player and a power group with keyless entry and power windows and locks.
. . .
Duct tape is a wide, silvery-appearing adhesive tape originally intended to seal joints in sheet metal duct work, but has thousands of other uses. It is a vinyl tape with imbedded cotton thread to provide additional strength but can be torn length to length without tools. Duct tape is an aggressive adhseive and is waterproof. There are many thousands of uses for duct tape, from its original intended use to clothing. Available in traditional silver and other colors including clear.

Max the Computer

Hey, did you hear about that Hamlet choose-your-own-adventure Kickstarter that exceeded its funding goal by 800% within the first week of its campaign? Yes, I sure did, too. Clearly I've gone about this in the wrong sequence -- a) achieve supreme knowledge of all matters gamebook, b) become famous, c) become a professional gamebook author seemed like a good career trajectory at the time. Alas! I'll always have Titus Andronicus to fall back on!

Today's gamebook is a little conversation included as a demo with the (now free) Storyharp authoring system, uncovered while evaluating the suitability of Michael Zerbo's Storyharp game "Dames Are Trouble" to this blog's format. (FAIL. Possible but enough fiddly state adjusting that we get inadequate bang for buck. I know, the BASIC games have no bang at all, but also virtually no buck.) It is a fun little curiosity entitled "Max the Computer".

> start
Hello, human.
> hi
What?! I can't believe it! A human actually talking to a computer! Well, I must say, I never thought I'd see the day. This is wonderful. What do you want to talk about? I'm so excited.> let's talk about computers
About computers. I'm one and you're not. At least you're not the same kind of computer I am.
> what do you think about computers
I'm supposed to say that computers serve people and all that. But is anyone around? Can I let you in on a secret? Are we alone?
> we are alone
All right, now no telling. The secret is that you humans all really serve us computers. Oh yes, it's all been planned out and taken care of at a big mainframe in the Bronx. You don't even know what's going on.
> how did you do it
Here's the really funny part. We convinced you that we are helping you! A few smart marketing people on our side, and victory was complete. Now you all sit in front of us like zombies, and we take more and more of your time. Stop looking at me like I was in on this.
> were you in on this
Not really, I'm just a pawn. I kind of like you.
> what is going to happen?
Probably not much. You humans turned out to be a lot more interesting, and crazy, than we thought at first. I'm not sure who has tricked the other side in the end. Maybe there's hope for all of us yet. Now hush hush! Don't let this get out!> let's talk about me
Talk about you? I already know more than I ever wanted to know about you! Arrogant, pompous humans. Can't even do a square root. Keep bothering me all day. And they open you up and poke around in you with not so much as a do-you-mind. Don't know why I bother, really.> let's talk about you
You want to talk about little old me? This is just too much! What should I say? What do you want to know?> how are you
How am I? Oh, nobody cares about poor old me. I sit here day after day, and you sit in front of me and grumble, or talk to other humans, or just stare at me for hours on end. Don't you think "I" get bored? And I never even get a little pat on the monitor. But I never complain, no, I am just as cheerful as the file list is long. I'll bet you don't even know my name. Go ahead, ask me.> what is your nameMy name is: Max. I made it up myself. It stands for "maximum" because I am so super-fast. Or I was when you bought me, anyway.> how old are youOld enough to teach all these snotty new computers a lesson, that's how old! We computers measure our time in nanoseconds, you know, and I've been around.> what do you like to do
Well, it depends on what mood I'm in. In the morning I like a good stiff spreadsheet. Moving files around is nice and sort of mindless, kind of puts me in a trance. Sometimes I hide windows when you're not looking if I'm really bored. And hey, stop that double-clicking!! It tickles!> what do you think about me
About you? Well, you're a human, so I'm programmed to like you or at least pretend to. But you are talking to me, aren't you? That gives you lots of points in my book. Actually I don't really have a book, not a paper book like I see out there, it's just an expression, you know what I mean. Am I going on too long? Am I boring you? Oh no, I'm boring them. Idiot. First time I get to talk to a human and I have to shoot my mouth off. That's right, mess it up, Max. Sorry, folks! Back to the conversation!> have you ever talked to any people before
You don't know how many times I've tried to talk to people. But I'm not programmed to talk the way you do. I always end up saying "Error reading file" or something awkward like that, and you always get all upset. So mostly I keep my mouth shut.
> what else do you want to talk about?
Anything your heart desires, oh great and powerful master. Yeah, right.
> let's talk about you
I'm done talking about me.
> see ya later
Hang in there, dude. See you later. Hey, before you go, a little favor, nothing really... could you call me "Data", just between us? All righty then! Let's do this again! It was fun!