A Dark And Deadly Path

This post's curiosity originated as the boilerplate choose-your-own-adventure included with mouser's Dark and Deadly Path prototype engine for audio-gamebooks. But how will deaf players ever be able to appreciate its ludicrous story? Looks like a job for... A_Gamebook_Fan!

A Dark And Deadly Path: choose the game to play using the cursor keys and hit [Enter] to begin.
[Ed. -- Actually, don't... just click on its link!]
DELLA: the test game.

...

One afternoon, on your way home from work you decided that you wanted to walk instead of taking the bus because it was a beautiful day. As you were walking you were humming to yourself and just enjoying the day. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a little white bird flies toward your head. Press 1 to jump out of the way, or press 2 to stay because you are too stunned to move.

...

Whew! That was close! You take a moment to catch your breath and look around to see where the bird was going in such a hurry. You see him fly off into the woods. Then you notice a rabbit hopping by very quickly as well, and watch him also hurry off into the woods. This has you curious. Press 1 to follow the animals into the woods, or press 2 to turn around and keep walking home.

...

Hey, what the hell -- why not? You walk slowly into the woods looking and listening at any signs of what could be going on. Strangely however the only thing you hear is silence. You can no longer even hear the hustle and bustle of the city. You get a shiver down your spine. You begin to walk with even greater care into the depths of the woods. Hey, what's that over there? There was something sitting at the bottom of one of the trees, but you just couldn't quite see what it was. Press 1 to get closer to see what it is, or 2 -- keep walking.

...

As you approach the tree you can see that there is a man sitting under it. He sees you coming and he waves. On his shoulder you notice the same little white bird that had almost ran into you earlier. "Who are you?", you ask him. "Hi! I'm Mouser," he says. "Mouser? You mean you're that dude from donationcoder?" He smiled and nodded. Then you realise that the little white bird was Cody -- but who was the rabbit, you ask? Mouser went on to explain that Cody had been very popular amongst the animals these days, and cannot go anywhere without someone spotting him and wanting his autograph. You let out a giggle. So you and Mouser hang out under the tree for a little while, then you decide it's getting late and you'd better get home before your wife starts to wonder where you are. As you start heading back you suddenly have the strange feeling that you're not going in the same direction that you came in. You quickly turn to look around you, but all you can see is trees. You try to shake off this creepy feeling now brewing throughout your body. Oh my God, look out! Press 1 quickly to get out of the way. [Ed. -- a reflex test... if you'd rather fail it, you can go here.]

...

Damn, what the hell was that? Something reeeeally big just ran past you! Your heart starts racing in your chest! You hear a low growling coming from behind some bushes. Press 1 to go over and see what it is, or 2 to run like hell.

...

"Quick, quick, run away, run away!" you say to yourself, as your legs carry you deeper and deeper into the woods. You can hear the creature following close behind. Sweat is pouring off your head and your legs begin to feel like Jell-O. What do you do now? Press 1 to climb a tree and hope that the creature cannot climb, or press 2 to scream for help at the top of your lungs.

...

You scream and scream as loud as you can and thankfully that seems to have scared the creature away... at least for now. You sit on a tree stump and catch your breath. You wonder what the hell that was that just chased you through the woods. After a few minutes you stand up again and try to figure out where the hell you are, but still all you can see is trees. Press 1 to just keep wandering aimlessly, or press 2 to try to figure out where North is by looking at the stars.

...

You keep wandering and eventually run into an old abandoned shack. It looks very creepy and you can't shake off the feeling that you're still being watched. Press 1 to enter the shack or press 2 to keep wandering around.

...

The shack seems good enough to provide you shelter for the night. It has a fireplace and in the corner is a bed with some junk laying on top of it. If you clear off the junk it would make a somewhat decent place to sleep. You also notice a trap door in the floor. Press 1 to open the trap door and take a look to see what's in there, or number 2, go to bed.

...

When you open the trap door you will see a ladder going down into what looks like a basement. It's very dark and you can't see anything. You look around in the junk and find an old oil lamp you light to descend down the ladder into the darkness. Down there you will find a small room with some strange objects. It has a human skull up on a shelf and a few old candles. You light one of the candles and notice a book on the desk. Press 1 to open the book and read it out loud, or press 2 to take the book with you.

...

You take the book with you, and after your discovery of the creepy room, you figure that this is definitely not a safe place to spend the night, and you continue outside to try and get yourself out of this mess. As you continue walking for a few miles you notice a faint light in the distance. Press 1 to follow the light or press 2 to keep wandering in another direction.

...

As you approach the light it becomes clear that it is streetlights of a road -- finally! you found some sign of civilization. You follow the road and as a car passes you hitch a ride to town. You go back home and, exhausted, you lie down on your bed and fall asleep instantly. When you wake up you remember the book you picked up at the shack. Do you: 1, open and read the book; or 2, forget about the book and go about your normal life?

...

You can't quite make out what the book is saying for it's in some strange language that you don't master. After some research and Googling you can't find out what the language is -- even Babel Fish doesn't know! Press 1 to take it to your creepy old aunt Grizelda, or 2, sell it at a flea market.

...

Your aunt Grizelda, whom you always throught was a bit crazy, tells you it's a magical book that can open a portal to the underworld. She says once someone has used it to summon a horrible monster to take revenge on someone else, but the monster ate the one who summoned it. It is said to be still wandering the forest and determined to stalk and kill whoever it encounters. Press 1 to tell your aunt you think you're being haunted by that monster, or press 2 to call the nutty farm to take your aunt Grizelda away, because obviously now she's lost it.

...

You are sure your aunt has lost it big time by now, and call the psychiatric institution to come pick her up. They take her away and you sign papers so they would take her out of society, since obviously such a person with such thoughts can't wander free in our perfect, sane and clean society. Later you go to bed and hear the deep growling again. Your heart pounds and you open your eyes to see a huge rabies-infected dog in your living room. You quick call the police and they take the dog away. You are so relieved that there are no monsters lurking in the woods, you decide to read the book you found, out loud, to your kids as a bedtime story. The next morning you are awoken, not by the sound of your alarm clock, but by a munching sound. You look next to you and see a zombie eating your wife. Maybe your aunt wasn't so crazy after all.

THE END.

...

The bird hits you in the eye and makes its way all the way to your brain and YOU DIE.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

A comet hits your house and YOU DIE.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

Eventually you get lost and YOU DIE of hunger.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

You get eaten by some strange looking creature with biiiiig white teeth.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

You're outta luck: it can climb. YOU'RE DEAD.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

By looking up to the stars you forget to pay attention and the beast catches up with you and eats you. And YOU DIE.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

You get lost in the woods and YOU DIE of hunger.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

The creature eats you and YOU DIE.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

It appears to have been a magical book. By reading out loud you opened a vortex into another dimension. Now evil skeletons and zombies are coming out through the portal and feasting on your flesh. Needless to say you are now very very dead, and so is the rest of humanity. Thanks!

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

You get lost and DIE of hunger.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

The monster you encountered in the forest found its way to your house and you still get eaten.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)

...

Your aunt tells you to compose a potion from a few very strange ingredients to stop having the monster hunt you. You take the potion and drink it. Unfortunately, it appears to have been poisonous, and YOU DIE.

(Would you like to back up a step, or start over again?)