Monday, June 20, 2011

A Story As You Like It

By many counts (all incorrect, as we have established) the first gamebook, this trifling exercise by French author Raymond Queneau was a mere footnote to a career of extreme literary merit. But to us gamebook nerds, it's more something akin to the Dead Sea Scrolls. I plan to be using this brief and manageable "Hello, World" gamebook as Lorem Ipsum template filler for a variety of gamebook authoring systems. But first, I had to incorporate bilinguality and devise my own translation!

Un Conte À Votre Facon (A Story As You Like It), by Raymond Queneau.
Submitted at the 83rd meeting of the Ouvroir de Littérature Potentielle (OULIPO) in 1967.
Translated into English and converted into HTML in June 2011 by A_Gamebook_Fan's good friend Rowan Lipkovits, who would like to the furthest extent possible to license this (unauthorized) English-language translation under the Attribution 2.5 license of the Creative Commons.


0. Voulez-vous lirez cette texte en Francais? (Would you like to read this text in French?)
NB: Pour changer entre les deux langues, cliquer sur le nombre du paragraphe. (Note: To switch between the two languages, click on the paragraph number.)
1. Désirez-vous connaître l'histoire des trois alertes petits pois?

2. Préférez-vous celle des trois minces grands échalas?

3. Préférez-vous celle des trois moyens médiocres arbustes?

4. Il y avait une fois trois petits pois vêtus de vert qui dormaient gentiment dans leur cosse. Leur visage bien rond respirait par les trous de leurs narines et l'on entendait leur ronflement doux et harmonieux.

5. Ils ne rêvaient pas. Ces petits êtres en effet ne rêvent jamais.

6. Ils rêvaient. Ces petits êtres en effet rêvent toujours et leurs nuits sécrètent des songes charmants.

7. Leurs pieds mignons trempaient dans de chaudes chaussettes et ils portaient au lit des gants de velours noir.

8. Ils portaient au lit des gants de velours bleu.

9. Il y avait une fois trois petits pois qui roulaient leur bosse sur les grands chemins. Le soir venu, fatigués et las, ils s'endormirent très rapidement.

10. Tous les trois faisaient le même rêve, ils s'aimaient en effet tendrement et, en bons fiers trumeaux, songeaient toujours semblablement.

11. Ils rêvaient qu'ils allaient chercher leur soupe à la cantine populaire et qu'en ouvrant leur gamelle ils découvraient que c'était de la soupe d'ers. D'horreur, ils se réveillaient.

12. Opopoï! s'écrient-ils en ouvrant les yeux. Opopoï! Quel songe avons-nous enfanté là! Mauvais présage, dit le premier. Oui-da, dit le second, c'est bien vrai, me voilà triste. Ne vous troublez pas ainsi, dit le troisième qui était le plus futé, il ne s'agit pas de s'émouvoir, mais de comprendre, bref je m'en vais vous analyser ça.
  • a. si vous désirez connaître tout de suite l'interprétation de ce songe, passez à 15.
  • b. si vous souhaitez au contraire connaître les réactions des deux autres, passez à 13.

13. Tu nous la bailles belle, dit le premier. Depuis quand sais-tu analyser les songes? Oui, depuis quand sais-tu analyser les songes? Oui, depuis quand? ajouta le second.

14. Depuis quand? s'écria le troisième. Est-ce que je sais moi! Le fait est que je pratique la chose. Vous allez voir!

15. Eh bien! voyons, dirent ses frères. Votre ironie ne me plaît pas, répliqua l'autre, et vous ne saurez rien. D'ailleurs, au cours de cette conversation d'un ton assez vif, votre sentiment d'horreur ne s'est-il pas estompé? effacé même? Alors quoi bon remuer le bourbier de votre inconscient de papilionacées? Allons plutôt nous laver à la fontaine et saluer ce gai matin dans l'hygiène et la sainte euphorie! Aussitôt dit, aussitôt fait: les voilà qui se glissent hors de leur cosse, se laissent doucement rouler sur le sol et puis au petit trot gagnent joyeusement le théâtre de leurs ablutions.
  • a. si vous désirez savoir ce qui se passe sur le théâtre de leurs ablutions, passez à 16.
  • b. si vous ne le désirez pas, vous passez à 21.

16. Trois grands échalas les regardaient faire.

17. Trois moyens médiocres arbustes les regardaient faire.

18. Se voyant ainsi zyeutés, les trois alertes petits pois qui étaient fort pudiques s'ensauvèrent.

19. Ils coururent bien fort pour regagner leur cosse et, refermant celle-ci derrière eux, s'y endormirent de nouveau.

20. Il n'y a pas de suite le conte est terminé.
FIN

21. Dans ce cas, le conte est également terminé.
FIN

22. Would you like to know the story of the three alert peas?

23. Would you prefer that of the three big skinny beanpoles?

24. Maybe you would prefer that of the three average and mediocre shrubs?

25. Once upon a time there were three peas, dressed all in green, who were sleeping sweetly in their pod. Their well-rounded faces breathed through the holes in their nostrils and one could hear their soft and harmonious snoring.
  • a. If you would prefer another description, go to 30.
  • b. If this description suits you, go to 26.

26. They weren't dreaming. Actually, these little creatures never dream.

27. They dreamed. Actually, these little creatures always dream and their nights secrete charming dreams.

28. Their cute little feet were wrapped in warm stockings and they wore black velvet gloves to bed.

29. They wore blue velvet gloves to bed.

30. Once upon a time there were three peas rolling along on the great highway. Come nightfall, tired and worn they fell asleep very quickly.

31. All three of them dreamed the same dream, they loved each other dearly and, as proud peers, were always dreaming similarly.

32. They dreamed that they went to find some soup at a popular eatery and upon receiving their bowl they discovered that it was ers soup. In horror, they awakened.

33. Opopoï! they cried out, opening their eyes. Opopoï! What a terrible dream we brought forth there! A bad omen, said the first. You betcha, said the second, that's the truth, though it saddens me. Don't worry yourselves about it, said the third, who was the smartest; we mustn't be overcome by our feelings but rather understand -- in short, I'm going to analyse it for you.
  • a. If you would like to know the interpretation of this dream right away, go to 36.
  • b. If you wish, on the contrary, to learn the reactions of the other two peas, go to 34.

34. You're spinning us a line, said the first. Since when do you know psychoanalysis? Yeah, since when do you know how to analyse dreams? Yes, since when? added the second.
  • a. If you, also, would like to know since when, go to 35.
  • b. If no, go to 35 anyhow, since you'll never learn any more otherwise.

35. Since when? cried the third. Who's the expert on the subject of myself? The fact is that I do it. You'll see!
  • a. If you, also, would like to see, go to 36.
  • b. If not, you still go to 36, since you won't see anything elsewise.

36. All right then, we'll see! said his brothers. Your irony doesn't please me at all, replied the other, and you won't be learning anything. Furthermore, over the course of this pointed conversation, hasn't your sense of horror been blurred, even erased? Why then would we churn up the muck of your butterfly-ish subconscious? Instead, let's go wash ourselves in the fountain and greet this happy morning in cleanliness and holy joy! No sooner said than done: they slipped out of their pod, let themselves gently roll to the ground, and then had a little trot, winningly and joyously, to the theatre of their ablutions.
  • a. If you would like to know what happens at the theater of their ablutions, go to 37.
  • b. If you do have no desire to know, you'd better go to 42.

37. Three big beanpoles watched what they were doing.

38. Three average and mediocre shrubs watched what they were doing.
  • a. If the three middling mediocre shrubs displease you, go to 42.
  • b. If they suit you, go to 39.

39. Seeing themselves observed this way, the three alert peas, who were very modest, fled.
  • a. If you would like to know what they did next, go to 40.
  • b. If you don't want to know, then you should go to 42.

40. They ran hard back into their pod and, closing it behind themselves, went back to sleep there.
  • a. If you would like to learn the rest, go to 41.
  • b. If you don't want to know, you go to 42.

41. There is nothing next; the story is done.
THE END

42. In this case, the story is still done.
THE END

No comments:

Post a Comment